Stop Reopening Old Wounds… It’s Time to Heal, Let Go, and Find Joy Again

There is something profoundly sad about watching people live their entire lives bound to

something that happened years… sometimes decades… ago.

Not because the pain was imaginary.

Not because the hurt was insignificant.

Not because the wound was not real.

But because what should have been a chapter became the entire story.

So many people unknowingly resist the growth, freedom, and blessing God has for them

because they refuse to let go of past wounds. They continue to reopen places God wants to

heal. They carry bitterness like a badge of honour. They rehearse pain as though it were

protection. And then they wonder why joy feels so distant and life feels heavy.

The tragedy is this… many of these people love God. They believe in Jesus. They attend

church. They know Scripture. Yet they live constrained, guarded, and joyless… not because

God has withheld joy, but because unforgiveness and unresolved hurt have crowded it out.

Scripture speaks clearly to this tension…

“Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new

thing!” Isaiah 43:18–19

God is not denying the past…

He is calling us not to live there.

When the Past Becomes a Permanent Address

The past is meant to inform us… not imprison us.

God never intended one painful moment, one misunderstanding, one betrayal, or one season of

loss to define the rest of your life. Yet for many people, that is exactly what happens. Pain

becomes familiar. Hurt becomes identity. Bitterness becomes normal.They replay the conversation.

They revisit the moment.

They rehearse what should have been said.

They relive what they wish had gone differently.

And over time, the wound becomes a permanent address.

Scripture reminds us that dwelling in the past prevents us from discerning what God is doing

now. You cannot fully receive what God is unfolding when your heart is anchored to what has

already passed.

Jesus never invited people to remain stuck. When He healed them, He told them to rise… to

walk… to go… and to live.

Forward motion has always been part of God’s design.

The Quiet Grip of Unforgiveness

Unforgiveness rarely announces itself loudly. More often, it settles in quietly and becomes

familiar.

It sounds reasonable.

It feels justified.

It presents itself as wisdom or self-protection.

“I’m just being cautious.

”

“I’ve learned my lesson.

”

“I don’t trust people anymore.

”

But Scripture is clear… unforgiveness does not protect the heart. It hardens it.

“Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance

against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.

”

Colossians 3:13

Forgiveness is not minimizing what happened.

Forgiveness is choosing not to remain emotionally chained to it.Unforgiveness keeps you tied to the very moment you wish you could escape. It keeps wounds

open. It keeps perspective narrow. And it quietly robs you of peace and joy.

Bleeding on People Who Never Cut You

One of the most damaging effects of unresolved pain is that it rarely stays contained to the

original wound.

Unhealed wounds leak.

They show up in reactions that feel disproportionate.

In defensiveness where none was intended.

In assumptions that were never confirmed.

In distance from people who mean no harm.

This is how cycles repeat.

This is how relationships suffer.

This is how families fracture.

And before long, we find ourselves reopening old wounds and bleeding on people who never

cut us.

Scripture warns us…

“See to it that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.

”

Hebrews 12:15

Bitterness does not remain private. A root that is left unchecked eventually affects everything

around it.

Families and Long-Held Wounds

This pattern shows up in families more often than we care to admit.

Family wounds are especially difficult because they are layered with history, emotion, and

familiarity. Hurts are often passed down. Misunderstandings linger for years. Stories are told and

retold until they feel immovable.

Entire family dynamics can be shaped by a single unresolved moment.What makes this even more heartbreaking is that many of these wounds are held onto long

after circumstances, people, and even intentions have changed. Years pass. Lives evolve.

Maturity grows. But the wound remains frozen in time.

Scripture calls us to a higher standard…

“Make every effort to live in peace with everyone.

” Hebrews 12:14

Peace does not mean pretending pain never existed.

It means refusing to let it rule the rest of your life.

When Memory Is Not Always Accurate

Another reason people stay trapped in old wounds, especially within families, is because our

memories are not always accurate…

Memory is shaped by emotion.

Emotion intensifies certain details.

Time blurs others.

What we remember is often filtered through hurt, fear, and assumption. Over time, the story

becomes more fixed, even when it may no longer be fully true.

Scripture offers wisdom here…

“The first to present his case seems right, until another comes forward and

questions him.

” Proverbs 18:17

How many grudges exist today because only one side of a story was ever held?

How many relationships were lost because assumptions were never clarified?

How many lives were shaped by moments that, if seen fully, might look very different?

Living in the past often means living with partial information and frozen perspective.

God invites us to humility… not certainty rooted in pain.

Why Joy Feels So Elusive

The Bible tells us plainly…“The joy of the Lord is your strength.

” Nehemiah 8:10

And yet, many believers live depleted, discouraged, and joyless.

Not because joy is unavailable…

But because bitterness, resentment, and unresolved hurt have crowded it out.

Joy cannot thrive where offense is continually rehearsed.

Joy cannot grow where forgiveness is withheld.

Joy cannot flourish where the heart remains guarded by pain.

Joy is not circumstantial. It is cultivated in a heart that is willing to trust God again… even after

disappointment.

God Is a God of Forward Movement

Throughout Scripture, God consistently calls His people forward.

He delivered Israel from Egypt, yet many longed to return because freedom felt unfamiliar. They

remembered the food… but forgot the bondage. Comfort in captivity can feel easier than

responsibility in freedom.

Paul understood this tension well…

“Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on

toward the goal.

” Philippians 3:13–14

Paul did not deny his past.

He simply refused to be governed by it.

There is a difference between learning from the past and living in it.

A New Season Requires a New Posture

As we step into a new year and a new season, we are given an invitation… not to be perfect,

but to be free.

To let go.

To start again.To stop carrying what was never meant to be permanent.

“Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for His compassions

never fail. They are new every morning.

”

Lamentations 3:22–23

New mercy cannot be fully received while old bitterness is still held tightly.

Practical Steps Toward Healing and Release

Acknowledge the wound without feeding it…

God welcomes honesty, not obsession.

“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted.

” Psalm 34:18

Choose forgiveness as obedience…

Forgiveness is often a daily decision.

“Forgive, and you will be forgiven.

” Luke 6:37

Stop rehearsing the story…

What you repeatedly revisit will continue to shape you.

“Whatever is true… think about such things.

” Philippians 4:8

Release the need for closure…

God can give peace even when people never explain themselves.

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart.

” Proverbs 3:5–6

Choose joy on purpose…

Joy is a posture before it is a feeling.

“This is the day the Lord has made; let us rejoice.

” Psalm 118:24

You Were Not Created to Live Bitter

God did not design His children to live sour, guarded, or joy-deprived.He created them to live free.

To laugh again.

To trust again.

To love again.

Jesus said…

“I have come that they may have life, and have it abundantly.

”

John 10:10

Abundant life does not coexist with lifelong grudges.

A Final Word

This can be the season you stop reopening old wounds.

The year you stop bleeding on people who never cut you.

The moment you choose healing over holding on.

God has more for you than your past.

Joy is not behind you… it is still ahead of you.

Freedom begins the moment you decide to let go and trust God with what was.

You were never meant to live trapped in old stories.

You were created to live, to grow, and to find joy again… right where you are, and where God is

leading you next.